Saturday, August 4, 2007

Post Librum Depression

Hi! I'm back. And unlike all of those clever souls (LOVE the video clip!) I'm just writing a blog. Kind of a dull blog today. Because, as is usually the case after I've finished the basics of a book and am waiting for the edits, I'm suffering from what I call "Post-Librum Depression." It's sort of like post-partum depression only your book is your baby.

I love writing. I love the work. I love the rhythms of it. I absolutely adore taking these little building blocks called words and using them to create people, places, and events that are real enough that other people actually CARE what's happening to them. Sometimes care enough to laugh, or CRY over it. That, my friends is really flipping cool. A rush like adrenaline, only longer lasting.

BUT when I've written that 100,000+ word manuscript, and poured everything I've got into it I'm pooped. Usually, (not this time thank heavens!) I actually get physically ill from having pushed myself too hard. And I'm depressed, and worried. Will they like it? What if they hate it? (Yeah, I really am that insecure. No, actually I'm MORE insecure than that. At least about my writing.) Did I get this right, or that right, or do the words just lie lifeless and worthless on the page?

On, and on (and on and on) in boring circles, my thoughts chasing themselves like a dog chasing its tail.

And it is during this time of hypersensitivity that I get the first round of edits. Which usually makes me feel WORSE, and I wonder if I should just quit.

Except I love this. It's what I've always wanted.

AND now I've come to know that this is just a part of the process.

So, I rest. Or I do stuff around the house that I've had to neglect while I was writing (particularly if I was on deadline). And I go look at the old books, or reviews, or (BLUSH) fan letters.

Eventually, the worst of it passes.

And I will get an idea. A really, really COOL idea---if I can pull it off. And I'm off and running again.


Blogger Shelli Stevens said...

I totally hear you!! Enjoy the few moments of down time.

August 5, 2007 at 11:31 PM  

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