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Thursday, January 17, 2008

xPost - What Makes Us Tick?

This is a question I'm trying to answer for myself - what makes me tick? What drives me? And is beauty (or ambition) in the eyes of the beholder? I know you're probably wondering what the hell I'm talking about, but here's a couple of instances:

I had a person tell me, "You are the most arrogant, self-centered person I've ever met!" And he meant it. I didn't particularly care, but, there you go. I remember thinking I sacrifice my life everyday for my children as a single mom, work like a dog to get ahead so my children have it better than I did, while this single, no kids, no responsibilities, still-living-with-his-high-school-buddy's guy is telling me I'm arrogant. Bastard.

On the other hand, I've had people tell me, "Girl, I don't know how you pull it off everyday! You're doing and accomplishing so much!" And they're proud of me, which really means alot because I always feel that I should be doing something more. What that something is, I don't quite know.

So why do we do what we do? Honestly? Why do we work a full-time day job, then go home and write our brains out? Why do we submit to pubs and then pull our hair out while we wait to see if they like us? Why do we practically bed readers to buy our work? Sounds like self-abuse, doesn't it?

I do it because I love creating stories out of nothing but thin air and what's left of my brain. The thrill of creating a new world and people to play in it where things are so different...yet the same. Outside of loving to write, I also want my kids to see that if they want something (like, being published or owning a business) go after it hard until they get it. Nobody's gonna hand it to them, and nothing's going to happen if they sit around and whine about how hard it is.

Breaks? I had none, but still managed, with my arrogrant, self-centered self, to reach some goals. Nothing like teaching kids by example, eh?

So, that's what makes me tick. What about you?

TJ

1 Comments:

Blogger Emma Petersen said...

So why do we do what we do? Honestly? Why do we work a full-time day job, then go home and write our brains out? Why do we submit to pubs and then pull our hair out while we wait to see if they like us? Why do we practically bed readers to buy our work? Sounds like self-abuse, doesn't it?

Because we have no other choice? Because deep down all writers are masochists? They say writers are sensitive and softer than other artists. Not with the amount of rejection we deal with, we arent.

January 24, 2008 at 2:02 PM  

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