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Thursday, June 5, 2008

Chivalry and Bitches (xPost)

Now this is a hot topic personally. But before I get started you can blame this all on my friend and fellow author, Marilyn Lee. If you don't know Marilyn's work, she's a kick butt author who writes Shifters, Weres and Vamps with so much personality you expect them to jump off the page and bite you (oh baby!). Her contemporary books are off the chain, too.

Well, the other day on the Ladies of the Club blog (another cool group that Marilyn and I both belong to) she started the topic on asking whether we, as woman, think chivalry is dead. The discussion was being had on other blogs where it seemed that some women don't mind if their men called them bitches, as if the word 'bitch' has become the new endearment rather than 'baby' or 'honey'.

Now is that ri-goddamned-diculous or what? Like Marilyn, I have strong opinions about this. If chivalry is dead with a man, then he's not the one for me. Do I need him to tie my shoes? Not. But I do expect to be treated with care. Now, I am so NOT a high maintenance woman. I don't nag, whine or pout. But...well, anyway, this is what I wrote in response to her blog (click HERE for the original post at Ladies of the Club):

TJ SAID: "Mary, this is a subject that just frosts my cookies. Basically, makes me mad, pisses me off, etc. Is chivalry dead? It depends on the guy. I happen to like polite, courteous men. To me, that's chivalrous. I've had men tell me that they like opening doors for women, but stopped doing it when the woman bit their heads off for being nice. Which, in my opinion, is simply stupid.

As a matter of fact, my ex-husband was very much the gentleman and I like that. I like having my door opened for me. I like being treated as if I am the most special and precious thing in the universe.

I am an accomplished woman with a career and can make my own way in the world. I've been a single mom for ten years - so yes, I can deal with being both the man and the woman at home. However, if a man is there, I'd rather he step up and be 'the man' - I don't want to make all the decisions. I don't want to take care of everything. I want my son to see how to be an alpha, yet caring to the woman he loves. Alpha doesn't mean jerk.

I like and want to be spoiled. And on the same point, I spoil right back. That man gets massages when he gets home. Has a bath ready for him. Gets his favorite meals as much and often as he can stand to eat them (I'm an awesome cook, ya'll!). And the more he spoils me, the more I spoil him back."

Given the fact that I write my males alpha to the bone, the men that tend to fill the pages of my books are scary as hell to any EXCEPT his woman or chosen mate. It wouldn't pay for anyone to cross him - well it would pay, but in lots and lots of pain. However, let someone threaten his woman and he goes from alpha to mega-alpha. And not because his woman can’t take care of herself. Take CARINIAN and TAMETH in the Vampire Council of Ethics series. CARIN has a strong mind and body and holds her own, as a human, against a pack of not-so-nice vampires. But her man will still walk through hell and high water to make sure she's safe. As for calling her a bitch, he'd rather bite off his tongue. TAMETH is a freaking Seeker, for cripes sakes - meaning she's vampire law enforcement. Meek and quiet? Not hardly. But her man would rip a new mud hole in anyone who meant her harm. And you'll meet SHINJU in HATSEPT HEAT, Book 3. She's an ace with blades and could take your head off with a thought. But Kenoe would rip your spine out through your nose if you look at her wrong. These men command their world, yet treat their women with respect and want nothing less than to give them the world.

So, what do you think about the whole chivalry thing? Is it dead or just dead at your house? Whaddup?

2 Comments:

Blogger Emma Petersen said...

It's not dead in my opinon. If a man opens my door, I thank him and go on about my business. I would never get upset if a man opened my door. That's silly. It's not that I'm helpless or can't open my own door, it's just a sign of respect. Not only is the man opening the door, he's letting you proceed him. *shrugs* What could possibly wrong with that?

You know what I've seen? Parents arent teaching their male children how to be gentlemen anymore. Forget opening a door for you, some of these little ruffians will try to mow you down to get in the door before you.

And for the word bitch. My ex and I had knock down, drag out fights and the word never crossed his mouth. I'm old fashioned, I carry myself like a lady so I expected to be treated like one.

June 6, 2008 at 6:40 AM  
Blogger TJ Michaels said...

I totally agree with you, Emma. Especially on the 'mow you down' part. I actually corrected a young man who'd practically run me over while I was entering a store, and his mother looked at me like I was crazy. Go figure.

TJ

June 12, 2008 at 10:05 AM  

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