Thursday, September 11, 2008

Sex as Taboo - Smart or No?

When I was growing up there was the old adage that 'Good girls don't...until they get married.' And while I believe that abstinence among young girls is a good thing, now that I'm older I'm not so sure that it's a natural thing. My mom's well-meant attempts to keep me pure and untouched just made me more curious about sex. In the end, I was one of those women who felt guilty about enjoying sex with my husband because I'd always been taught that it was such a bad thing...

What wasn't explained was 'why' sex was supposedly such a terrible and dastardly deed before the 'I-do's' were exchanged. And it led to all kinds of problems.

So with my kids, I answer all their questions about sex and assure them that sex is a normal, natural thing that can be freaking fantastic (especially if your partner really knows that they're doing)!

But I also explain why it's not a good idea for them to have sex now. First off, there are too many cooties out there these days, some of them are incurable while others can lead to AIDS, herpes and cervical cancer. Then there's always the real possibility of an unwanted pregnancy which affects both sexes.

Attempting to hide sex from children (I'm talking pre-teens and up, who are mature enough to deal with it) just isn't smart. It either makes them super curious and wonder what all the mystery is about, or it makes 'em scared so that even after they've met the person they want to spend their life with, they will not be comfortable with their sexuality.

So, the bottom line is - SEX IS NOT TABOO IN MY HOUSE.

What was it like in your house growing up? Taboo or not?

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Blogger gypsywoman35 said...

Hmm, very interesting post T.J. Here's my two cents on sex being a Taboo. Growing up, I wish, oh how I wished my mother or grandmother had taken the time to explain my changing body to me BEFORE the boys noticed. I developed very early (2nd grade). Not only was I a big girl, I was a big girl with a rack! Well all that unwanted attention and not really knowing what or why it was being caused made me grow up very fast. Some very horrible things happend in my childhood all before the age of 12.
Fast forward to the present. I have two gorgeous girls one 13 and one 10. I have talked to them extensively about their bodies and their developement. Any questions they may have about sex I have answered. My oldest started developing when she was 10. I clearly remembered what that was like and I prepared her for the looks and possible taunts by both boys and girls. Because I prepared her she didn't really have a problem handling anything that may have come up in school or elsewhere.
Sex isn't taboo. But it is a very special and emotional act and if you are not prepared to handle everything that goes with having sex then don't do it.

September 14, 2008 at 12:18 PM  

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