Top 10 Dumb Inventions (xPost)

I'm cross posting this from my D3 blog because it's so ridiculous I just had to share!

This is too funny! Anyone ever wanted to be an inventor? Ever wonder how you can do it? Well, just think of the silliest thing you possibly can, draw up some schematics for it and submit it to the patent office. And TA-DA! You're an inventor.

Check this out!
#10.The Flatulence DeodorizerFiled in April 2000, the flatulence deodorizer "discloses a pad to be worn by a user for absorbing gas due to flatulence."

#9.Method And Device For Recognition of a Collision With a PedestrianThe days of plowing your car into things and not knowing whether or not it was a living person are finally over!

#8.Animal Ear Protectors Do you have a dog with long, floppy ears, and if so, do you give it food? And if you give it food, is it always getting its long, floppy ears covered in the food that you give it? Is this actually a serious problem that you have to deal with? If so, you should write a letter to your local pet accessory manufacturer and let them know about US Patent #4233942.

For the rest of the 10 Most Ridiculous Inventions, click HERE and enjoy a laugh on me!

TJ
www.tjmichaels.com

NaNoWriMo & Changes

Okay, if you check out the time this was posted, don't fret. It's not 2am where I'm at. Just remember that I'm in Australia and it's actually 9:30pm on Wednesday night. LOL. :D

My daughter's asleep and the hubby's at work, so I thought I'd post my weekly ramble.

Check this out:

Yeah, I finished with my NaNo first draft last week. Though I did pick it up again on Monday and managed to add a few more words. :/ The word count ended up being 55,450, which is quite cool. This is my second year of finishing the yearly November challenge, and I look forward to next year too.

So, who made it this year? Don't be shy, you know you want to share. ;)

Now that I've finished it, I'm going to put it aside for a bit. Then I'll get revisin' on it. I'm actually really looking forward to it, and have even started thinking about the sequel. Yeah, happens a lot lately.

Man... what's on the cards for tomorrow? I'm not actually sure. I got through the second round of edits for my CP novella, OBSCURE, today. So that was cool. But anyway.

You may be wondering what the Changes in the post title is all about. The hubby started a new job this week. And well, it's the complete opposite to what it was before. We were both getting up really early in the mornings, but now we actually get a chance to sleep in a bit. Though it also means that he's gone all afternoon and a big chunk of the night. So I've had to re-shuffle the hours I dedicate to writing.

It's actually working out pretty good so far. We're able to fit in our workouts in the morning, and walk my daughter to school together. It's just one of those things, though. I was thrown a bit out of balance at the beginning of the week, but I'm starting to find my feet again.

How do you deal with change? Just go with the flow, or try to fight it every step of the way? I tend to go with the flow. I mean, that's one thing we can always count on in life, isn't it?

Yolanda
http://www.yolandasfetsos.com/

Taking a Random Poll...

This past weekend, I did a book signing/reading with two authors: Cindy Spencer Pape and Colleen Gleason/Colette Gale. All threeauthors had paranormal romances to offer. In addition, Cindy had a contemporary (cowboy) series and Colleen had her historical vampire slayer series and an erotic version of Phantom of the Opera (titled Unmasqued). I had my mass market re-release of Sex and the Single Ghost, my latest Real Vamps Don't Drink O-Neg, and a dragon shapeshifter, Immortal Secrets.

It was interesting to see what the readers picked up. The non-vampires went the quickest, not only for the other two authors but for me as well (Immortal Secrets went the quickest).

Now I'm wondering if the vampire thing is over. (Un)dead. Caput. Finis. Have readers' lust for vamps been sated? Or was this unique to just this store?

Any opinions? Are you/were you a vampire fan? Have you grown weary of reading about the undead?

Tawny
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www.tawnytaylor.com

NaNoWriMo & Edits

Gee. You know, the weeks are just zooming by. Sometimes I need to stop for a second and double check what day of the week it is. LOL. It gets like that sometimes, doesn't it?

Well, I think this may actually be my last NaNo post. You see, I crossed the 50k target the other day. Yay! And I added some more words yesterday.

So, this is what my word meter looks like now:

I'm very excited to say that I finished the novel's first draft. Though I would like to go back and read the last two chapters one last time before printing it up, and putting it away for a bit.

Is that what you do with first drafts? I do. I like to write them and then get a little distance from them. Of course, with short stories and novellas, a week or two is usually enough. But with novels, I like to get at least a month away. Everything stands out more that way. I can look at the story and writing more objectively and will rip it apart, if I have to.

So, what's next on my plate? Well, this morning I got started on the first round of edits for one of my Cobblestone Press 2008 releases. This one's called OBSCURE. I got 20 pages in and am looking forward to getting stuck deeper into it. I think it'll be all I get a chance to work on today, but that's fine with me.

During last weekend, I also finished the third round of edits for my Cobblestone Press V-Day novella, VALENTINE'S BEAST. And I have to say that I'm really happy with how it turned out. A fantastic editor is a total gem to any writer. And CP has some of the most wonderful editors around. It's always a pleasure to work with them. I also can't wait to see the cover.

So, anyway, are you all still working on first drafts? Or are you revising stuff you intend to submit? Maybe you're working on edits like me... feel free to share. ;)

Yolanda
http://www.yolandasfetsos.com/

The Bachelor Season Finale

Usually, I post about writing stuff, submissions, craft, whatever. This time, I wanted to do something different. Let's talk about one of my fave reality shows--The Bachelor.

I don't know how many of you watch The Bachelor, but I'm not ashamed to admit, I'm an addict. If you've watched former seasons, you know how this thing is supposed to work. There's a bachelor, who is financially stable, attractive, successful (relative term) and there are twenty five bachelorettes for him to weed through in his quest for true love.

This season's bachelor was bar owner and entrepreneur Brad Womack and he was down to two girls, a Pheonix Suns dancer and a real estate agent and bartender. Both girls told him they were falling in love with him.

Now, in past seasons, it went something like this: Girls tell the bachelor they love him. Bachelor chooses the wrong one (in my opinion), he proposes, they try to make it work long distance, make a few public appearances, and then a few months later the bachelor is spotted getting snuggly with a Miss Universe contestant. Let's just say the success rate for romances spawned on the show isn't great.

So, this season, it seemed Brad Womack decided to go a different route...

SPOILER ALERT!!!!!! DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU TIVO'D LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE AND HAVEN'T WATCHED IT YET.











Brad didn't chose EITHER bachelorette. They were both sent home ringless and roseless. And you know what? If Brad did that for the reason he stated (Saying I love you is a big commitment and I'm not ready to make that kind of promise to you. I care too much for you to do that.) then I REALLY respect him, and just maybe this bachelor was on the show for the right reason--because he was hoping he'd find the love of his life. If you watch his face as the girls are pouring out their hearts to him, it gets red, tense. You can tell something is VERY wrong, bothering him something fierce. I think it was killing him, not being able to tell the girls exactly how he felt. This guy was doing his best to be for real. At least, that's what I see.

Anyone else have an opinion? What do you think?

Tawny
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Vampilicious Erotic Romance

So, is everyone still getting lotsa words down on paper, or out on the screen? I know I am. Even after having a few days away from my novel last week, and not writing a single word on (most) weekends, I'm moving along quite nicely.

Here's how it's going for me:

Now, I'm running a little late today, and have reached a part in the novel where everything has to come together and mesh towards that terrible black moment when all hope looks lost. Yeah, but I'm hoping to get a little done later on. Still, 40k is pretty good. I'm only 10k away from my NaNo target, and 20k away from my personal goal.

Personally, I think the story will probably end somewhere between 55-57k. No, actually, I'm hoping that it does. I need the extra word count room for the revision.

This story's turning out to be a lot of fun and is filled with adventure, emotion and a sense of suspense about what's going to happen next. I'm enjoying myself. And when I write a tale, that's the most important thing for me. To enjoy and have fun with it. Otherwise, why would I write it, right? It's my passion for getting the tale told that pushes and drives me forward, and I simply love this hero and heroine.

Anyway, enough about that. Let me tell you about this excellent vampire series I've been reading for a while now. It's called the Darkwing Chronicles, and it's written by Savannah Russe.

During the last week I've read the last two (so far) in the series:

This is an awesome series! Daphne Urban is part of a small group of vampire spies who have saved many lives, without the human population knowing a darn thing about it. Her relationships are filled with complications and the darkness of what she is ruins good things for her, but you can't help but like her. She's a strong heroine with many flaws, and moments when you want to stop her from screwing up.

But man, at the end of each book I feel very glad to have been involved on her latest case.

If you like vamps and kick ass chicks, with an array of very alluring hot guys mixed in, I recommend this series. You won't be disappointed with the edgy situations. Very cool!

So, I've got a whole bunch of books on my TBR pile and I'm very slowly catching up... tell me, what's on your TBR pile? Or is there a book you've read lately that had a huge impression on you? Go ahead and share. I love to talk books as much as I love to talk about writing. ;)

Yolanda
http://www.yolandasfetsos.com/

An Informal Survey

Today I’m starting a new story. Whoo hooo! Beginning a new book is a thrilling challenge. There’s a new set of characters to meet, a new story to discover.

Every author has his or her unique system for starting a new project. But for me, I start with a title and a synopsis. Why? Because the title sets the tone for the story. And the synopsis gives me a rough framework to build upon as I write.

So what is this survey I was talking about? It’s regarding titles. Lately, it seems that cute titles like clever twists on common expressions or clichés are pretty much out... and sexy, grittier titles are all the rage.

Opinions anyone? I’d be so grateful if you’d give me examples of your favorites (or least favorites) in the comments. I need inspiration. A good title can make a HUGE difference in the success of a story.

Tawny

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Vampilicious Erotic Romance

Such a bad girl...

I'm a bad girl. I haven't blogged since my last post on October 29th and I'm okay with that.

I blogged about goals, motivation and discipline.

And in those two weeks I've taken my own advice and wrote my toukas off. So now I have to figure how to balance what I want to do with what I have to do.

What I want to do: Write until either my fingers fall off or the story is finished.
What I have to do: Blog, blog hop, answer emails, update website, myspace, and a million other things.

What I'm thinking is I may need to start myself on a schedule but my muse is like do it and I'll walk...

So how do you balance what you want to do with what you have to do? Suggestions are greatly appreciated.

WIM CONFERENCE

Words In Motion (WIM) is an annual online conference developed to offer support, marketing, and networking within the romance and erotic romance industries. Our goal is to provide affordable and convenient opportunities for authors, publishers, and other professional individuals. WIM is a free event, meaning it costs absolutely nothing to attend or participate.

2008 WIM Conference: Romantic Suspense, January 2nd - 6th
The Lamplighter Conference Center, Main Street Community Forums

Special Presentations

Forensics: A Reality Check for Authors - M. E. McCombs
Image Building: Developing a Web Presence - Croco Designs
Workshop for Authors on Marketing - Kayelle Allen
Writing the Convincing Villain - Melanie Atkins

For more information and for details about how to register:
http://www.cobblestone-mainstreet.com/WIM/

Ssssnnnoooorrreee....

First, let me get the promo out of the way - my first print book was released from Ellora's Cave on Tuesday. Sorry I didn't mention it sooner, but I didn't know until after it released (aacckk!) It's called FERAL FASCINATION and Lauren Dane, Tielle St. Clare, Ravyn Wilde, Michele Bardsley and I have stories in it.

Second, the HOLIDAY HOTTIES contest is coming up. Author wish lists are pouring in, so stay tuned. It kicks off the week before Thanksgiving and it's gonna be good! If you're not sure what I'm talking about, skip over to my Dynamic Trio blog and check out the "HOLIDAYS...ALREADY" post.

I'll be talking about this contest during my List Mom days at Ellora's Cave and Samhain Publishing reader loops next week. Okay, done with that. Now on to my problem.

God, I'm so tired I just don't know what to do. Life is good, though busy. And the busy part has led to a bit of insomnia - basically I can't quiet my mind down enough to go to sleep.

When I was a kid I used to remember all of my grandma's home remedies for such things, but, here we are almost, er, let's see, thirty years later...and I can't remember a single one!

So help me out here, will ya? Do you have any home remedies that might help one sleep...or get teens to do the dishes in addition to sleep? ;D

TJ

NaNoWriMo & First Drafts

So, who's taking part in NaNo this year?

As I've already mentioned, I am. And although I took one day off this week and don't write over the weekend, I'm still making some very cool progress on my novel.

As of this morning, this is how my progress bar looks:

I'd like to crack the 20k mark sometime today and get as close as I can to 30k by tomorrow afternoon. But one thing that's been happening with this novel, that usually doesn't happen, is that I keep going back to re-read the last chapter I wrote before getting started on each day's session. I don't usually do that.

The way I write my first drafts is to get started, stuck into it and then just keep on writing until I get to the end. But this time, there are several details that need to stay constant within the tale, and so I keep going back and then keep on writing. I think this slows down the total output a little but will end up saving time during revision.

Still, every story's different, isn't it? The one constant thing is that I'm completely lost in this novel and the characters. They consume my mind, I'm constantly listening to the Playlist, and keep doing bits and pieces of research as I move along.

I'm having a lot of fun with this story, and I can't wait to see how it all works out.

So, tell me: do you write the entire first draft and then worry about revision after it's completely done? Or do you like to edit as you go?

No matter how you write, have fun!

Yolanda
http://www.yolandasfetsos.com/

Are you shopping for an Ebook Reader?

If so, you may want to check out THIS POST on DearAuthor.com. They are comparing several brands of ebook readers, including at least one e-ink model.

BTW, when I'm asked to give an opinion on this topic, I recommend a palm computer. There's very little difference in cost between a palm computer (such as a Dell Axim, which is what I own) and many of the dedicated ebook readers (like the Sony). I prefer the multi-use functionality of the palm versus the single use of a reader.

Anyone have any recommendations they'd like to share?

Enjoy and happy shopping!

Tawny
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Vampilicious Erotic Romance

In Other Words...

So on one of my lists, the use of the "f" word in literature came up...so I made a list:

Have sex
Fuck
Thrust
Ram
Slam
Bang
Coition
Gyrate hips
Deflower
Copulate
Fornicate
Boff
Tup
Consummate
Hump
Shag
Hunch
Make out
Breed
Mate
Making Love
Make Out
Go all the way
Screw
Lay
Procreate
Pop her cherry
Hanky Panky
Boning
Slapping Skin
Milk the Bull
Knocking Boots
Bumping Uglies
Boink

Then with the help of A. L. Debran (http://www.al-debran.com), we searched the internet and found some wonderful resource sites for euphemisms for "having sex"

http://www.starma.com/penis/richardkitty/richardkitty.htm
http://www.sex-lexis.com/
http://www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html
http://www.gregology.net/Gregtionary/sextionary.php

Can You Tell?

A good friend of mine is a professional dancer. When she's not traveling, she enjoys kicking back and hanging with friends. She sent me some pictures yesterday with a challenge regarding all these lovely ladies - her challenge? CAN YOU TELL WHICH ONE IS A MAN?

My first reaction was, "Say what?" Then I took a look at the photos and was like, wow! Every picture was of an absolutely gorgeous female...or was it? And more important, how the hell did they do that? Every one of them looks better than me on my best day at work! As for make-up, it's so well done I'm actually jealous. Damn it.

So, can you tell which person is really a male?